I'M JUST AN ACTOR

I had rehearsal for my improv group last night and our guest director asked us to do some "boring scenes". It was a fun exercise and I think the point of it was to be confident that we are so naturally funny, we can take any mundane situation and make it interesting without even trying. The suggestions we were getting to initiate our scenes were whatever we do for a living. When the director asked me what I did, I said "I'm just and actor", and then immediately felt horrible for saying it. "I'm just an actor" kept ringing in my head the entire long drive back. I had a feeling as to why I said what I said but didn't want to process it because I knew I'd just get more upset. "I'm just and Actor"...uugghhhh! This was a victory for everyone that thinks my job isn't a real career! What I said was proof that what they do on a sometimes daily basis works!

One of the things that makes me diverse is the fact that I am an actor. We all might have some side job to help keep us above water from time to time, but our real bread and butter is acting. I think most of my friends are, but we all run in circles with "rdinary" people that work at offices, drive trucks or operate machinery.o In these other circles that we have, we are known as "that actor guy" or "that girl on TV" and I can't speak for everyone else, but for me, being that guy sometimes sucks. How could it suck? I get paid a good amount of money for a days work right? I might audition 3-5 times a week but it's no 9-5 grind. I don't need to wear a uniform or work outside in 90 degree weather. But I do get barraged by questions like no one else.

"How much can you really make doing that?"

"What was the last thing you shot?"

"Do you get paid even if you don't talk?"

"Be patient, someday you'll make it big maybe, don't you think?"

"But what do you really do to get by?"

"Are you working on anything right now?"

"Did you book that audition this week?"

And the list goes on and on. So what's the big deal? No one else gets asked those questions, so why should I? You don't ask a doctor if he saved someone this week. You don't ask a lawyer how much he gets paid. You don't tell a mechanic to hang in there and maybe someday he'll own his own shop. You don't ask a delivery guy when he got his last raise. So why do I get asked these questions? When I sold cars, I'd get a little bit of this, but not like I do now for being an actor. I think that when you are a salesman or an actor, just about anyone can envision themselves doing the same thing as you. They know you as a person and don't see anything different or special between you and them, so they put themselves at the same level. Then maybe they feel they need to prove to themselves that they were better off doing what they did by putting you down for what you do. They may not mean to do it on purpose, but it might be there in their subconscious. In order for them to feel comfortable around you, they need you to feel uncomfortable about what you do...hence "I'm just an actor". Now you see why I hated myself for saying that.

The difference between me and anyone who thinks they can do what I do is that I am actually doing it. It's a step of faith. It's trusting and believing in yourself and not fearing failure. Those that want to pretend that they can do what me and my actor friends do are just that, pretenders. Keep asking me a personal or inappropriate question about my career to make yourself feel better for not having the courage and personal belief in yourself because last night, you got me! For a few hours you got me good! Now I know that there are those out there that are truly supportive and ask because they care and want to see me succeed...I'm not talking about you...I'm probably not talking about anyone that would take the time to read this actually. I'm talking about that guy or gal that hears I booked something and instead of congratulating me, they just want to know the details. What does it pay? Is anyone famous in it? Is it a "National" spot? They want to know if they should be jealous or not maybe, I don't know? If you can't just be happy for someone its probably because you can't just be happy with yourself and that's sad. And you know what else? You can think you can do what I do all you want. Just know that I have never exhausted a single thought thinking I could be you because I AM AN ACTOR! Hurray!