My very first job was selling glow in the dark necklaces and bracelets at Knott's Berry Farm. I was 16 and being behind the scenes at an amusement park was crazy cool, but was also revealing and somewhat disappointing at times. I got to meet Elvira backstage one time after a show and without her big wig and make up, she was actually really beautiful! Not that the character she played wasn't hot, I guess I just had a thing for redheads back then. I kind of wondered if she had ever done anything else besides the whole Mistress of the Dark thing and maybe just didn't recognize her. Cassandra Peterson was my first real celebrity encounter and I walked away from it realizing that she's a normal person just like me and she just happens to have a job that's cooler. I've had all kinds of jobs since that 16 year old kid worked roving retail at The Farm and now I find myself with a job much like Elvira.
I'm a normal guy. I'm just like anyone else. When it comes to being stuck in traffic, I get stressed just like you. When I hear bad news or good news, it affects me emotionally like everyone else. So why can't I celebrate like everyone else? Why is it when I have accomplished a great task in my line of work and I want to share it with my friends to be encouraging to them and share the joy, that some people give me slack for bragging? And just so we're clear, I'm not talking about my other actor friends...these are friends that have said things like "Act like you've been there before". I find that really funny...to use the word "Act" when trying to put me down. I know what these friends are saying though and I completely understand the mentality.
It's like football! The coolest running backs walk into the end zone and simply hand the ball to the ref. They act like they've been there before. There is no celebrating for them. It's a job. They get paid to put the ball in the end zone. They work hard all year, running up and down mountains and having a strict weight lifting regiment so that when the season starts, they're ready to punch it in. Boom! Done! Kind of reminds me of the super awesome running back named Barry Sanders that played for the Detroit Lions when I was a kid. This guy was probably the greatest running back of all time! I say probably because he retired just shy of breaking the all time rushing record. He was at the top of his game and one season away from having it all. He sent a fax to let everyone know he was done. Boom! Done! The sporting world was shocked! BUT WHY? He didn't get paid to break records right? He got paid to play football and score touchdowns. He did his job well and he was done. He walked away. Want to know why he quit? The "culture of losing" had gotten to him and it robbed him of his competitive spirit he later admitted. He also said that he had tears in his eyes the final game of his last season as his team lost. He knew that they would never reach the Super Bowl and it was pointless for him to continue playing. He said he sobbed for 3 months afterwards.
Those that spend their life celebrating nothing, end up living a life without celebration. If you want to tell me that I should act like I've been there before, then the next time you get stressed because you're in traffic, stop being a baby and act like you've been in traffic before! Barry Sanders didn't celebrate touchdowns or care about career records and stats because all he ever wanted to do was win a Super Bowl. He hadn't been there before! His lack of celebration burned him out! Are you going to tell a woman who's had 4 kids not to celebrate and feel joyous after giving birth? We all go through certain labors and pains and the end reward is worth celebrating. You need to celebrate if you're going to attempt to try it again. Most of you don't know the sacrifices my family and myself make so that I can continue to do what I do. If I book a commercial or get a movie/tv role and we get happy about it and want to share the good news it's because we understand that acting like you've been there before doesn't work for us. If you think that we're bragging, then OK. I have a really cool job and I'm sorry, but being on TV is cool! If being too cool for school works for you, that's great!
I'll also say this. Sometimes acting like you've been there before, or basically showing no emotion at all and excusing it as "It's a job" is a way to cope with your fear that you may never get there again. It's okay to be afraid. It's the fear that holds you back but can also propel you forward if you use celebration as the whip to tame it and your desire to succeed to guide it.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I'M JUST AN ACTOR
I had rehearsal for my improv group last night and our guest director asked us to do some "boring scenes". It was a fun exercise and I think the point of it was to be confident that we are so naturally funny, we can take any mundane situation and make it interesting without even trying. The suggestions we were getting to initiate our scenes were whatever we do for a living. When the director asked me what I did, I said "I'm just and actor", and then immediately felt horrible for saying it. "I'm just an actor" kept ringing in my head the entire long drive back. I had a feeling as to why I said what I said but didn't want to process it because I knew I'd just get more upset. "I'm just and Actor"...uugghhhh! This was a victory for everyone that thinks my job isn't a real career! What I said was proof that what they do on a sometimes daily basis works!
One of the things that makes me diverse is the fact that I am an actor. We all might have some side job to help keep us above water from time to time, but our real bread and butter is acting. I think most of my friends are, but we all run in circles with "rdinary" people that work at offices, drive trucks or operate machinery.o In these other circles that we have, we are known as "that actor guy" or "that girl on TV" and I can't speak for everyone else, but for me, being that guy sometimes sucks. How could it suck? I get paid a good amount of money for a days work right? I might audition 3-5 times a week but it's no 9-5 grind. I don't need to wear a uniform or work outside in 90 degree weather. But I do get barraged by questions like no one else.
"How much can you really make doing that?"
"What was the last thing you shot?"
"Do you get paid even if you don't talk?"
"Be patient, someday you'll make it big maybe, don't you think?"
"But what do you really do to get by?"
"Are you working on anything right now?"
"Did you book that audition this week?"
And the list goes on and on. So what's the big deal? No one else gets asked those questions, so why should I? You don't ask a doctor if he saved someone this week. You don't ask a lawyer how much he gets paid. You don't tell a mechanic to hang in there and maybe someday he'll own his own shop. You don't ask a delivery guy when he got his last raise. So why do I get asked these questions? When I sold cars, I'd get a little bit of this, but not like I do now for being an actor. I think that when you are a salesman or an actor, just about anyone can envision themselves doing the same thing as you. They know you as a person and don't see anything different or special between you and them, so they put themselves at the same level. Then maybe they feel they need to prove to themselves that they were better off doing what they did by putting you down for what you do. They may not mean to do it on purpose, but it might be there in their subconscious. In order for them to feel comfortable around you, they need you to feel uncomfortable about what you do...hence "I'm just an actor". Now you see why I hated myself for saying that.
The difference between me and anyone who thinks they can do what I do is that I am actually doing it. It's a step of faith. It's trusting and believing in yourself and not fearing failure. Those that want to pretend that they can do what me and my actor friends do are just that, pretenders. Keep asking me a personal or inappropriate question about my career to make yourself feel better for not having the courage and personal belief in yourself because last night, you got me! For a few hours you got me good! Now I know that there are those out there that are truly supportive and ask because they care and want to see me succeed...I'm not talking about you...I'm probably not talking about anyone that would take the time to read this actually. I'm talking about that guy or gal that hears I booked something and instead of congratulating me, they just want to know the details. What does it pay? Is anyone famous in it? Is it a "National" spot? They want to know if they should be jealous or not maybe, I don't know? If you can't just be happy for someone its probably because you can't just be happy with yourself and that's sad. And you know what else? You can think you can do what I do all you want. Just know that I have never exhausted a single thought thinking I could be you because I AM AN ACTOR! Hurray!
One of the things that makes me diverse is the fact that I am an actor. We all might have some side job to help keep us above water from time to time, but our real bread and butter is acting. I think most of my friends are, but we all run in circles with "rdinary" people that work at offices, drive trucks or operate machinery.o In these other circles that we have, we are known as "that actor guy" or "that girl on TV" and I can't speak for everyone else, but for me, being that guy sometimes sucks. How could it suck? I get paid a good amount of money for a days work right? I might audition 3-5 times a week but it's no 9-5 grind. I don't need to wear a uniform or work outside in 90 degree weather. But I do get barraged by questions like no one else.
"How much can you really make doing that?"
"What was the last thing you shot?"
"Do you get paid even if you don't talk?"
"Be patient, someday you'll make it big maybe, don't you think?"
"But what do you really do to get by?"
"Are you working on anything right now?"
"Did you book that audition this week?"
And the list goes on and on. So what's the big deal? No one else gets asked those questions, so why should I? You don't ask a doctor if he saved someone this week. You don't ask a lawyer how much he gets paid. You don't tell a mechanic to hang in there and maybe someday he'll own his own shop. You don't ask a delivery guy when he got his last raise. So why do I get asked these questions? When I sold cars, I'd get a little bit of this, but not like I do now for being an actor. I think that when you are a salesman or an actor, just about anyone can envision themselves doing the same thing as you. They know you as a person and don't see anything different or special between you and them, so they put themselves at the same level. Then maybe they feel they need to prove to themselves that they were better off doing what they did by putting you down for what you do. They may not mean to do it on purpose, but it might be there in their subconscious. In order for them to feel comfortable around you, they need you to feel uncomfortable about what you do...hence "I'm just an actor". Now you see why I hated myself for saying that.
The difference between me and anyone who thinks they can do what I do is that I am actually doing it. It's a step of faith. It's trusting and believing in yourself and not fearing failure. Those that want to pretend that they can do what me and my actor friends do are just that, pretenders. Keep asking me a personal or inappropriate question about my career to make yourself feel better for not having the courage and personal belief in yourself because last night, you got me! For a few hours you got me good! Now I know that there are those out there that are truly supportive and ask because they care and want to see me succeed...I'm not talking about you...I'm probably not talking about anyone that would take the time to read this actually. I'm talking about that guy or gal that hears I booked something and instead of congratulating me, they just want to know the details. What does it pay? Is anyone famous in it? Is it a "National" spot? They want to know if they should be jealous or not maybe, I don't know? If you can't just be happy for someone its probably because you can't just be happy with yourself and that's sad. And you know what else? You can think you can do what I do all you want. Just know that I have never exhausted a single thought thinking I could be you because I AM AN ACTOR! Hurray!
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